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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly

Here is our separation agreement:

–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar

-You are welcome to the liberal judges and the
–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the

–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and

–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’

–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall

–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal

–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and

–We’ll keep Bill O